Category Archives: poems ( kind of )

Tired

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I’m tired.
Tired in my bones.
Tired in my soul.

Tired of not moving forward.
Not knowing where it’s all going.
Tired of O only having 3 hours in school a week.
The same thoughts going round my head.
Should I pull him out.
Keep him home.
Protect him.
Is it better for him to go.
To learn to cope.
Will he learn to cope.
I know what happens to a child
That doesn’t get the right help.
That isn’t supported in school.
That doesn’t learn to cope.
It’s not good.
Every day is the same.
Going nowhere.
Trying so hard to get somewhere.

Not knowing if I’m doing it right.
Am I doing enough.
How to push through this tiredness.
It’s like hitting a wall ….. Again …. And again …. And again.
Does it get easier ?

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Purple hoodie

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Purple hoodie on my boy
You’re not a statement
Or a toy
You’re a comfort
When the world is too much
You protect him from
Bad feelings
Sound and touch
Purple hoodie they want
To replace you
With a jumper and a wooly hat
Every day ,
It’s too hot
It makes no sense
Why won’t they let you stay
Purple hoodie
You can’t stay forever
Of course I know
when he feels ready
I’m sure he will let you go
But it’s not right yet
You and he
together you just fit
Taking you away
Is breaking his spirit
Purple hoodie
You’re not a statement
Or a toy
Why won’t they let you
Comfort my boy

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One step forward …

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One step forward
Two steps back
Hold your breath
and count to ten
Slowly going forward
It all goes wrong again
Tired
No relief
No peace of mind
Looking for answers
I can never find
Which way to turn
Where do I go
However hard I try
I never seem to know
Maybe tomorrow
I’ll get it right
It plays on my mind
Through out the night
We sleep
We wake up
we do it again
One step forward
Two steps back
Hold your breath
And count to ten

A feeling

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There’s a feeling
I can’t put a name to
A little like lost
Not knowing
What to do

It’s not hopeless
I always have hope
But while you’re grasping it
You don’t always believe you will cope.

It’s not alone
Life is all around
It’s wanting understanding
Not people making the right sounds

People think they know
They listen to your words
But quietly you’re screaming
Am I ever being heard

It’s a feeling
Of wanting someone to say
I’ve no idea
Of how you feel or
What the fuck to say
But let me be on your side
Anyway