Today I have a very important guest post to share with you. It’s written by the lady responsible for Many small voices.
I was asked by the lovely @8TOZERS to do a blog post about why I blog on Many Small Voices (MSV).
MSV was borne out of my own frustration of not being able to find comprehensive and detailed information on the internet regarding domestic abuse. I have recently come out of an emotionally and verbally abusive marriage. During the time that I was looking for help and information, I felt that it was scattered everywhere. I was reading and looking at many different websites and blogs to find the information that I needed to help me to pluck up the courage to leave my marriage.
Abuse is a difficult subject. Many friends and family members, when you ask for help with it, shy away as it is often too difficult for them to deal with and understand. Often people don’t really realise the extent of the abuse. Which is understandable, as it is often hidden, quite deliberately, by the abuser and also by the victim out of shame and confusion. Often, as was the case with me, victims don’t feel that the abuse is ‘severe’ enough to warrant real help from the police or from domestic abuse charities and organisations.
It is common for victims of abuse to feel very alone, and they usually are. Abusers deliberately isolate victims and can also ‘speak out’ first about incidents, ensuring their version of events becomes the general consensus.
I didn’t know I was in an abusive relationship. It wasn’t, in fact, always abusive, at least not as abusive. When the subtle and small controls sneak into your life, all you feel is confusion and pain. When things got worse and became intolerable, I finally realised that what was actually happening to me was abuse and so I began a long journey which started within myself. It was a long and painful journey into the depths of my soul. I faced some painful truths about myself and about my husband, about our life and the lives of our children.
Abuse profoundly effects everyone who is around it and yet at the same time becomes ‘normalised’. It is the most bizarre of situations to be in and yet all you want is the pain to stop.
I wrote to get things ‘out of my head’ and it helped me to find clarity for myself. I wrote just for me. I never dreamt that I’d end up sharing my writing with anyone. Never mind on a blog!
I left my husband at the end of last year. It was a scary thing for me to do. But it had to happen. For then on I have felt strongly that I’d like to help others who are going through similar, help them find access to as much information as possible in one place and find the strength to leave and find a better life. To know that it is possible to, even when it feels like it isn’t.
With the help of some very kind people and wonderful new friends who encouraged me to share my writing and who I will always remember for helping me to begin this journey, Many Small Voices was born.
I’m not out of the woods yet. I still have my journey to complete. But I sincerely hope that by writing my experiences and encouraging others to do so, I could possibly help at least one person to find their way safely out of an abusive situation.
The best people to tell the story of abuse are the people who have lived it, survived it and emerged stronger and happier. To all of the contributors to MSV I give a heartfelt thanks and I hope that you know that I am in awe of your strength because I know just what it takes to leave.
We are together, creating something real and amazing and we must continue to keep speaking up about our experiences.
Many Small Voices come together to create one loud voice against domestic abuse.
Many thanks to you all.
THANKYOU for reading this guest post. You can follow
Many small voices on twitter @ManySmallVoices and the blog can be found here http://www.manysmallvoices.com
I don’t ask for retweets or follows for my own blog but I would like to ask that you follow many small voices , retweet , share , let people going through domestic abuse know that many small voices are there and !