Not going out.


If you follow me on twitter you will know that bedtime is when Ollie gets curious and has a thousand questions every night.

Tonight Ive got him in my bed because at first he told me he was sad and lonely and I was mean for not letting him into mine , then he told me he felt like he was on a lonely island in his bed. Obviously I gave in, that’s not a nice thing to hear. But then instead of his usual questions he wanted to talk about why I keep trying to make him come out of the house.

I had told him I’d like to get out at least
twice this coming week, he cant see why because he went out twice last week.

I realise I’ve told Ollie far too many times that I will never make him do anything that is too hard for him , he uses this against me now.

Its so hard to make him understand.

contrary to what he believes I do understand and care that he really doesn’t like going out. But I also understand that he needs to get himself out there a bit.

My 18 yo with autism (among other things) has barely left the house for 4 years and even then only with massive amounts of support. He wants to go out , he just cant .

He was only diagnosed a few months ago ,I was mostly told he was behaving badly for 9 years so I didn’t know how to help him,encourage him , get him out ,I feel like I failed him ,So now I work hard to get him out. We aren’t really there yet but once in a while we manage.

I cant let Ollie be the same.As I always tell him I don’t want his autism to stop him doing things he WANTS to do , and what if later on in his life he wants to go out and see things, do things ?

I want him to know that even though he will probably always find these things hard he is at least equipped with the tools to manage if he chooses too.

Also I need to know that he can cope with , for example going to the corner shop, just in case he needs something one day and I’m not there.

I know he sees the world differently to me and being indoors is his happy place.  But life happens outside , in the sunshine , the rain, the snow, on walks through the common and strolls through the cemetery, it happens having lunch in Asda and buying football stickers and life happens in so many other amazing ways and places.

I want him to know that he is equipped to go out and see life , as much or as little as he wants to if and when he wants to.

I don’t believe I’d be a very good mother if I didn’t encourage him to leave the house but in his eyes in mean for asking him to.

We’ve had tears and shouting tonight and he fell asleep still cross with me.
Its not an easy thing to make a ten year old understand , I just want his life to be everything he ever wants it to be WordPress for Phone


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