Competetive parenting .


Its Easter weekend , so the chances
are your fb and twitter timelines are saturated with pics of the mountains of chocolate eggs , sweets and even presents that everybody has bought their children.

I have nothing against fun, making Easter special or even seeing and hearing about what other people do for Easter ,but its all got a bit much (the same can be said for Christmas and Halloween) it seems to have become about doing it better than everybody else. The meaning of all celebrations seems to be completely ignored in the quest to do it better than the next person.

I’ve been a parent for twenty years ,and I’ve seen competetive parenting rise as social media has risen. It seems that given an outlet to showcase themselves as fabulous parents most people just cant help themselves.

When I joined Twitter a few years ago it was refreshing , a much needed change from Facebook ,Twitter was a constantly moving conversation ,Facebook was where people built a facade of a perfect life ,twitter was where we told it like it is.

But twitter is becoming much more “look at me” “look how many presents I’ve bought my child,look at what I’ve planned for my child,look at what I’ve made my child,look at how many clothes I’ve bought my child,look what I’ve fed my child “There is pram envy ,sling envy,nappy envy, the list goes on and on. Yes I can do the obvious thing and just not read or look at the boasting ,not go on twitter, and I’ve actually been on twitter less and less lately but I think its a shame to see things changing this way.

Conversation is drying up and being replaced with boasting . All of our celebrations are becoming increasingly commercialised,and there is so much pressure to buy more and spend more on children. There is the sense that if your child doesn’t have the latest ,the most popular ,the MOST,you are not as good a parent.

 What’s wrong with just enjoying your children ,showering them with love rather than stuff and enjoying celebrations with them by actually learning about the meanings behind things.

I love reading about things people have done and if you’ve bought your child a new dress/toy/pram I’d love to see a picture but I’m finding all the boasting a little boring now.

Wouldn’t it be great if everybody just concentrated on being the best parent they can be rather than always trying to out do every other parent.

children wont remember how much money you spent on them,they will remember how much time you spent with them.

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14 responses »

  1. Totally agree. I have a similar post in draft.

    When I was a kid we barely even did anything at easter now ppl seem to not just buy an egg but a bajillion of them. …. and *hampers* for their kids this is to go with the easter toys. ….costumes and clothes to wear to the extravagant hunt having done and tweeted the twenty five easter crafts they’ve meticulously done with their kids.

    Because obviously that makes them better parents.

  2. That is so well said! I always avoid Facebook and Christmas/valentines/Mother’s Day Easter because it’s all just boasting. I did notice that the boasting had spread to twitter a little too.
    In fact I was called a cruel mom on f/b for only buying the kids a small £1 egg each!

  3. My kids got 1 big egg each and some mini ones…. that’s more than enough. No doubt when we see grandma next week she’ll have got them one (or a pressie) but they don’t need hundreds. I remember when I was little we used to get loads and I have a picture of my eating one on Christmas day that’s how long they lasted. My boys don’t need that.

    I had to resist the urge to comment on a posting the other day where a mum was “having to make up for no one else buying eggs” and needing to get her kids 5 each on £20….. if you can’t afford it then just don’t spend it, I agree the kids won’t notice any difference if they have 1 or 5.

    Totally agree tho about the one-up-man-ship (see my bad mums post about doing the kids homework for them)

  4. So true! My kids are grown now, so there is no chocolate in my house. I did bake a cake, and we will sit down together for dinner. But not many people are concentrating on what Easter is supposed to represent and maybe just have a little contemplative time.

  5. I have mixed feelings about this. I think it is so easy to read a random post or two and judge the writer as being boastful whereas in fact they may be talking about the only positive feeling they have had in weeks. Everyone has their own way of marking festivals and what works for one family won’t work for another. Some years you may lavish gifts on your children simply because you’ve had a difficult year or know that the following year will be a particularly hard one. It is so easy to judge people from the outside but as outsiders we never really know what is going on within the family and what that snapshot picture or comment really means. It is so easy to project one’s own feelings onto other people’s comments and then interpret them negatively. We all project an image of ourselves to the outside world, sometimes that is the only we can survive.

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