Monthly Archives: April 2014

Tragic

Standard

I don’t know much about addiction at all. And yes I understand that there is a choice to take a drug / alcohol in the first place. But I believe that if you make that choice then chances are you are already in a bad place.

I imagine that the first time people try drugs they think it will be fun, just once will be fine ,or they wish to block something out ,they may not realise the full consequences ,that they are on the first step towards addiction. And by the time they do realise its probably too late and addiction has taken a hold .

Addiction is an illness. I wasn’t sure so I googled ” is addiction a mental illness” and it is. I read this among other things http://alcoholrehab.com/alcohol-rehab/addiction-realiseis-a-mental-illness/

Caused by bad choices but an illness just the same.

A death is tragic whatever the circumstances. A death due to drug use /addiction/ overdose is no less tragic.

A person in the grip of addiction is most likely not a person who is thinking clearly or able to make good choices.

Whatever has happened to compassion and kindness.   

via WordPress for Phone http://goo.gl/j6Fzhf

Autism Ollies way

Standard

As the saying goes if you’ve met one person with autism you’ve met one person with autism .

Common factors of autism are social communications difficulties as well as sensory issues ,but Autism is different for everyone.

This is Autism Ollies way .

Ollie is 9 ,physically he’s developing “normally” for want of a better word, he looks just like any other 9 year old.

You could well look at him and think he is just like any other 9 year old .But then you might notice that he doesn’t look you in the eye, doesn’t speak to you and if you speak to him he will only answer with yes ,no or I don’t know. You may notice that he pulls faces ,grimaces,makes twitchy movements .These are his tics. They are always worse when he is stressed or tired .He cant control them .You would also notice that he makes noises. Sounds ,words ,sometimes whole sentences ,always random. Ollie doesn’t know what he will say until he says it. He cant control this either. At the moment he’s mostly saying “merry Christmas ,everybodys having fun ”

Sometimes he spits! If he is made fun of or told off for any of these tics they will just get worse. Of course Ollie and I laugh about them ,we even make fun of them ,but that’s different ,I’m mum.

Another thing about Ollie is that he doesn’t get sarcasm at all. He takes everything literally and can get quite confused or upset by sarcasm. He usually doesn’t get jokes either. Something that Ollie hates is sayings ,things like “you drive me up the wall” “raining cats and dogs” You often hear Ollie saying “but I don’t get it ” 

Ollie cant cope in a classroom (or school for that matter) too many people ,too much noise ,too much visual stimulation ,in school Ollie would go into sensory overload where everything was just too much ,this led to meltdowns where Ollie would lash out ,scream ,shout ,sometimes becoming violent.

Shops are much the same ,there are too many people too much going on and shops are the perfect example of sensory overload Ollie becomes very stressed and agitated if he needs to go into a shop. The last time we ventured into a shop a lady bumped into him and he became very very vocal shouting that the lady was an idiot and careless.

Buses are another minefield. Ollie wont sit unless I can sit next to him and he likes to spend the bus ride sitting silently trying not to notice what is going on around him.

Ollie is at his happiest when he has “private time” He likes to be up in my room alone playing roblox or watching minecraft videos.

Sometimes I need to go as far as to ban private time otherwise he would hardly come down.

Ollie takes melatonin to help him sleep at night because he finds it very hard to settle. Even then he’s often still going till midnight. He’s full of a million questions about everything every night. That can be exhausting and I’m eternally grateful for google .At the age of nine he still sleeps in my bed ,ocasionally he will sleep on a bed in my room (hardly ever)

Food is another issue, Ollie often wont eat because he’s always sure there is a hair on his food (there isn’t) letting him inspect the food helps. He wont eat out except for McDonalds, he trusts McDonalds.

All this said ,Ollie is an extremely bright little boy, incredibly quick to learn and he gas a memory like no one Ive ever known.

Life with Ollie, with autism, isnt always easy and its certainly different but never less than life with a child that doesn’t have autism.

Autism wont stop Ollie being or doing whatever he wants its just a part of all the wonderful he does , is, and will be.

via WordPress for Phone http://goo.gl/j6Fzhf

Losing my way

Standard

I love blogging ,I really do. But I’ve lost my mojo completely.

Ive got nothing to blog about .

when I started out I blogged mostly about Ollie and the horror that was school for my little dude with autism,but he’s not in school now and there’s not alot happening with any of the asd unit applications we’ve made ,we are kind of in a limbo educating at home as much ad possible but that’s not proving easy since all the school application business stressed and demotivated Ollie.

I was blogging about autism but i feel so many blogs do that better than mine.

Ive blogged a little about myself being unwell but as its taking so long to get any kind of diagnosis even Im becoming bored with that.

I was blogging about going gluten free for a while but as it didn’t make any difference to my health that’s fallen by the wayside.

So im stuck ,I don’t know what direction to take this blog in.

The posts about Ollie and school were always my most popular ,maybe that’s what people came to expect from my blog ?

For me blogging is my way of clearing my mind ,making sense of my thoughts ,its my hobby my own little place .

But im not sure what that place is.

Where do I go with my little blog ?

via WordPress for Phone http://goo.gl/j6Fzhf

Losing my way

Standard

I love blogging ,I really do. But I’ve lost my mojo completely.

Ive got nothing to blog about .

when I started out I blogged mostly about Ollie and the horror that was school for my little dude with autism,but he’s not in school now and there’s not alot happening with any of the asd unit applications we’ve made ,we are kind of in a limbo educating at home as much ad possible but that’s not proving easy since all the school application business stressed and demotivated Ollie.

I was blogging about autism but i feel so many blogs do that better than mine.

Ive blogged a little about myself being unwell but as its taking so long to get any kind of diagnosis even Im becoming bored with that.

I was blogging about going gluten free for a while but as it didn’t make any difference to my health that’s fallen by the wayside.

So im stuck ,I don’t know what direction to take this blog in.

The posts about Ollie and school were always my most popular ,maybe that’s what people came to expect from my blog ?

For me blogging is my way of clearing my mind ,making sense of my thoughts ,its my hobby my own little place .

But im not sure what that place is.

Where do I go with my little blog ?

via WordPress for Phone http://goo.gl/j6Fzhf

I dont do blood …..

Standard

I dont do blood ,i really dont .
I cant even cope with blood tests which i have so many of .
I sliced my thumb today while chopping peppers I cried I
panicked because of the blood , the kids tell me its no more than a paper cut but in my head I’m bleeding out and I’m convinced i was moments away from slicing my thumb off , no sympathy as they think I’m overreacting , ok usually i am , but not this time .
The whole blood phobia is actually a big problem for me as when my children are hurt i run from them screaming calling my eldest (dan) who is fazed by nothing and my first aider daughter leanne ,
Let me give an example or two son was run over aged 11, he ran home from the scene and collapsed by our door , i phoned my sister ( on my street ) and waited upstairs to paramedics had had a look ,I did go in the ambulance though .
When other son,Ben was almost one I was hoovering with the hose whilst he stuck his hand in the beater bar , of course he didn’t scream till I stopped the hoover ,I pulled his hand out , saw the whole skin had come off of the middle of the back of his hand ,I saw his bones , ran to neighbours screaming !
Ollie sliced his foot on broken china , pouring with blood , I Picked up ollie and ran to neighbours house ,passed out on her floor ( me not ollie)
Its not just blood , its broken bones , when Emma broke her foot at playcentre i couldn’t bring myself to look , and Ben ,still accident prone , broke an ankle skateboarding , when that cast came off he immediately broke the other ankle cycling , that cast came of and ….guess what ….he broke his other ankle at football training, each time I couldn’t look at the broken limbs . Calling either my sister or a neighbour , my now 16 yo had a fit of some kind in her brothers room , a couple of years ago cutting her head open in the process of falling off the chair , my neighbours came and sat with her till the ambulance came ,while I hyperventilated in my room

How the heck do I get over this absolute panic and fear over a bit of blood or broken bones ,the kids are used to it ,they know i will be there as soon as the bloods bandaged or the break is out of my sight , but I feel stupid because a mothers instinct is to run to her hurt child ,mine is to run away , one day something could happen where they actually need me to step up and be brave ,I’m not sure i can . I want to be there and soothe them and comfort them but how can I?

Show us your blog linky

Standard

Hello , its Thursday again already, Im a bit behind on blogging because Im needing a new ipad charger and wordpress on my new phone is totally pants, i’m not atall used to blogging on a laptop but here’s this weeks Show us your blog linky, its really easy to link up

There are no rules, your blog can be well established or brand new, all are welcome, you may link to your

whole blog or a particular post. this linky is all about finding new readers and new blogs to read so don’t be shy

link up below and show us your blog . All I ask is that you pop over and have a look, maybe comment on one or two others that join in. Thanks for reading G x

 

<!– start InLinkz script –>

 <a rel=’nofollow’ href=”http://new.inlinkz.com/luwpview.php?id=397729″><img style=”border:0px”  src=”http://www.inlinkz.com/wpImg.php?id=397729″></a&gt;

<!– end InLinkz script –>

On the mend…..

Standard

Its a few weeks since my blood tests showed I have microcytic anemia,I was started on iron tablets and also vitamin D. I had been extremely tired to the point where I just couldn’t get myself out of bed in The morning.I couldn’t manage to get up with the bigs in the morning which I hated and was sleeping till around 9 when Ollie gets up (I’m used to getting up at half five with the bigs to oversee them getting ready for school) .I was falling asleep everytime I sat down and I was just so tired there were many times I wondered how I was actually still standing.

But ,Ive noticed after this last week that I’m not falling asleep on the sofa ( unless Ive actually decided to nap) and I’m getting back on top of the housework and best of all when my alarm went off at 5:30 this morning just needed a little stretch (I wake up very stiff with my arthritis) and I was ready to jump out of bed and see to it that the kids had breakfast and left for school with everything they needed ,I even tidied the girls room ,washed the dishes,folded some clean towels and fed the cat ,all before 8 🙂

Also, when my body starts feeling better my mind starts feeling better. So I’m feeling a lot less glum.

 
via WordPress for Phone http://goo.gl/j6Fzhf

Its the little things …..

Standard

……that make me smile.

Ollie is having what he calls “quiet time ” up in my room. He doesn’t like to be disturbed ( although its my room ,cheek!)

I walked upstairs singing ( I really need to get some housework done and I work better with the radio blaring ) went in to my room singing ,saw Ollie “Sorry Ollie ,sometimes the music just moves me “

Ollie looked at me all seriously “where to mum?”

I love that kid .

via WordPress for Phone http://goo.gl/j6Fzhf

Its the little things …..

Standard

……that make me smile.

Ollie is having what he calls “quiet time ” up in my room. He doesn’t like to be disturbed ( although its my room ,cheek!)

I walked upstairs singing ( I really need to get some housework done and I work better with the radio blaring ) went in to my room singing ,saw Ollie “Sorry Ollie ,sometimes the music just moves me “

Ollie looked at me all seriously “where to mum?”

I love that kid .

via WordPress for Phone http://goo.gl/j6Fzhf