Well January pretty much sucked.
Every new year I tell myself that new year doesn’t mean anything , and it’s too long to make promises and goals for a whole year at a time ( for me anyway) so I don’t really make resolutions.
I can’t predict what tomorrow will throw at me , let alone a few months down the line.
January really did suck.
After a nice Christmas I was convinced that I was full of positivity but actually I was tired and full of anxiety and panic.
Way to start the year Mrs .T.
The 16 and 18 year olds were both being troublesome in their own ways.
And after beginning work with my Frp worker – who shall further be referred to as B we made some positives steps already. But an issue has come to light. Actually I knew it was an issue.
My kids are messy and lazy. fact ! it’s true. They are also stubborn and strong willed.
B tells me I need to be firmer stronger. Lay down the law. Ignore their mess till they clean it. Tell them no! And I’m finding it hard. I’m realising I’ve been a total pushover. I tidied their room after B told me I mustn’t.
It may not even seem that big an issue to you but my ultimate goal is to release responsible educated adults in the world , who know how to keep their home nice and how to Hoover and clean the loo etc. and organize themselves.
I want them to be adults that can take care of themselves , not make excuses. And most of all I want them to be there for eachother but also for Ollie and J when I’m not here anymore.
Anyway you get my drift. January was glum. Insomnia. PSA flare ups. IBS flare ups. Stressing about whether or not to try Ollie in a local school.
So February is my fresh start.
The boys are already behaving much better and not giving me much trouble at all. Which is good , they are teenagers … Not angels.
B has given me many new strategies to make the kids help me more. And penaltys for if they don’t. We’ve done a lot of written work which has helped me to understand my goals for the kids and what and why it’s important they learn how to do stuff and how the power has to come from in me. I just need to find it.
We’ve applied to the school on our street for Ollie. This school or nothing. We are hoping and quietly confident , for positive confirmation by the end of next week. Ollie wants to try. So we will try.
So my goals for February are :
• to enthusiastically support ollie if he gets the school place , even if I’d like to hold him tight forever
• to take responsibility for being the one that has to bring about a change in the kids attitudes.
•chat more to the kids. So I properly understand them and they understand me.
•do more things together.
•to keep eating well
•read more , sleep more
•don’t eat all the chocolate.
These are the goals I’d like to achieve. But if I don’t manage them all I can just make a fresh start in march.
One month at a time.
So that’s makes this ” new months Eve”
Happy new month readers.
May this month be a fresh start and better than the last.