Something to hold on to.

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I’ve blogged about how things are getting on top of me , I’m struggling.
I’ve been feeling like its too much and nothing will ever be right again.

Tonight O asked to go to bed early , at 8:10 pm , he had a very difficult day at school today , he wasn’t able to cope in the classroom at all , he also still has a bit of a cold and he’s already nervous because tomorrow is a PRU day.
He has to give it a try.
He’s worried.
The walk home from school was tense.
O was stressed. I was stressed.
I had a terrible migraine.
I felt sick , dizzy , exhausted. I went straight to my bed.

But …. Tonight while I was laying on my bed with O as he fell asleep It struck me that yes we had a bad day , a terrible day. But we got through it.
We had come to the end of the day
And we were on my bed with a kitten and a dog snuggled up at the bottom , with supper in our bellies.
And we were ok.
We had smiled , and laughed , and we were together , all of us at home and we were ok.
And it was good.

And tomorrow may not be the best day , things may go wrong , it might be a struggle but at the end we will be ok.

And if we are ok then we have done well.
And if the day feels a bit crazy ….. There will be calm at bedtime.

If it feels a bit hard to breath …. The breathing will come easier at the end of the day. When we settle down and I can hear O breathing and snoring and I can hear the rest of the kids , and the pets, breathing and snoring.

And if we feel a bit alone …… At the end of the day we will be together around the dinner table , and all squashed on the sofas together watching TV , and at bedtime we will be safe and warm at home together.

That’s what I need to hold onto.

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12 responses »

  1. Loved reading this. I understand exactly what you mean about even if a day is difficult that moment at the end of the day when you think ‘made it through another day – we’re all here and safe and tomorrow will he better.’
    x

  2. You know there are a good number of us who support you! You are a darn tough cookie. Even on wobbly days you work it out! At the end of the day ask have i eaten, am i safe, am I warm, am i free from pain are my family safe. If all the answers are yes then it is a great day!

  3. I know today’s been tough, but YOU made it because YOU are strong. Xxx keep battling but remember each day will end at this very point you describe.

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