It’s one thirty in the morning.
I should be asleep.
But tomorrow is our CAMHS appointment.
The one that magically appeared after they received my letter of complaint.
I have got an appointment at last.
So why can’t I sleep
Why am I dreading it so much ?
I know that it’s going to be a major operation to get both the boys to the appointment
I am really worried about facing the psychiatrist.
I know I’m the one in the right
I know my complaint was completely justified
And still I feel bad.
It’s stupid but I do.
It’s going to be awkward , I know it is.
I feel like after all this time , fighting for help , complaining , pinning all my hopes on getting another appointment ( they are rarer than unicorn tears ) it might all just be a big let down.
What if I don’t stand up for us ?
What if Its horribly awkward ?
What if we don’t actually get anywhere ?
What if I’m expecting too much.
I don’t expect a miracle
But I want progress
I want to see that things are moving
I want hope
I want to be understood
Wish me luck. I think I’m going to need it. 😕