Appointment …

Standard

It’s one thirty in the morning.
I should be asleep.
But tomorrow is our CAMHS appointment.
The one that magically appeared after they received my letter of complaint.
I have got an appointment at last.

So why can’t I sleep
Why am I dreading it so much ?

I know that it’s going to be a major operation to get both the boys to the appointment

And then

The appointment.

I am really worried about facing the psychiatrist.
I know I’m the one in the right
I know my complaint was completely justified
And still I feel bad.
It’s stupid but I do.
It’s going to be awkward , I know it is.

Also

I feel like after all this time , fighting for help , complaining , pinning all my hopes on getting another appointment ( they are rarer than unicorn tears ) it might all just be a big let down.

What if I don’t stand up for us ?
What if Its horribly awkward ?

What if we don’t actually get anywhere ?

What if I’m expecting too much.
I don’t expect a miracle
But I want progress
I want to see that things are moving
I want hope
I want to be understood
Not patronised
Or awkward

Wish me luck. I think I’m going to need it. 😕

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3 responses »

  1. Wishing you huge luck. I recognise the feeling of guilt or anxiety even when you know you’re right. But believe in yourself; we are the best and sometimes only advocates for our kids.

    Hope it goes well.

  2. Good luck hun. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for – look at all that you’ve achieved so far. Well done for getting the appointment and hope that it all goes well xxxx

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