Blankie came to the hospital with me when I was in labour with O.
It was brand new and ready to be snuggled in , ready to wrap my baby in.
Blankie is light blue and very very soft. It has a bunny embroidered on one corner.
Blankie is also washed out , a bit thin in parts , a little grubby , it has a few labels sewn on because as O rubs them he wears them down. Then my mum sews new ones on.
Blankie had a small hole and it also has a missing piece ( O had explosive diorreah one night when he was one , he was very poorly and needed blankie so when his nappy exploded and blankie was caught in the crossfire I chopped the affected piece off )
Blankie has been everywhere O has been.
O has NEVER EVER slept without blankie .
Before he leaves for school he rubs blankie and says goodbye.
He loves blankie.
I love blankie.
Blankie has been a part of O for every day of his life.
In bed tonight O was saying how blankie needed a new label soon.
We remembered cutting the piece off and we remembered how blankie has had a few new labels ….

Then O went quiet.
He wasnt laughing anymore
He was crying

He was worried about blankie not being there one day , I told him he can always keep blankie , even if he just keeps it in a box in his room when he’s grown up ,
But he was still worried.
He’s worried that blankie wont be with him when he is in his coffin.
I promised him that I will always make sure that everyone knows blankie must go with him.
And I told him that him and blankie will turn into dust together , and mix with the soil , and become part of the things that grow I don’t know the science but it sounded lovely
But he was still worried
I told him the plants will make seeds that will blow in the wind and grow into new plants when the old plants are no more.
He cuddled up to me and cried while he fell asleep.
I think it’s quite beautiful how he loves blankie
What an awful thing for an 8 year old to worry about.

Kids , the many ways they can break your heart.


4 responses »

  1. You dealt with that brilliantly, poor little O. He’s struggling with many complex thoughts at such a young age. You’re so inspirational in how you take everything in your stride. I cried a little reading that post. Xx

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