How not to have fun at the cinema


I’m feeling at a bit of a loose end.
I’m missing the kids .
O is too.

We needed to do something. To get out.
I know , thought I, lets go and watch monsters university.
Now I know O doesn’t cope brilliantly with the cinema.
There’s a bus ride to cope with.
A walk through the shopping centre to get to the cinema and then the actual cinema.
But we wanted to see this movie.
So I decided it was worth doing.
Two of the teens wanted to come.
That was fine… A family afternoon out , together , chilling out watching a movie …
oh how wrong was I

Taking two children with disabilities out together to a busy place is in fact not fun.
O did , as I expected find the bus ride and the shopping centre stressful but just getting both of them out of the door was already stressful enough. Then once out of the door
O was getting noisy with his tics and the teen , well he was convinced all the way there that we hadn’t shut the front door.
He shut it.
And he checked .
And checked again .
But he was sure it wasn’t shut.
any hope of relaxing was now dwindling

yes your wallet is in my bag
Yes I’m sure.
Yes look, it’s here , I’ll button my bag up
Yes your wallet is still there
Yes my purse is there
Yes my card is in my purse
Yes your wallet is there , look
You want to check again?
Look it’s here

yes , the pre booked ticket machine will work
Yes I’m sure
Yes it will work
If it doesn’t I have our booking reference
But yes it will work
Yes your wallet is here
Yes, and my purse

Choosing the popcorn size was a nightmare

We get in to the screen and at this point you would think it was a given that the 8 year old with ASD gets to sit next to mum.
But no, a ten minute argument involving lots of seat changes has to happen first.
Followed by the ” death stare” because O is sitting next to me.

The movie starts , there are two kids behind us with their dad.
They know all the words to the movie and they say all of the words to the movie all the way through
As well as look dad , what’s that dad , that’s a pig dad , that’s mike dad , that’s sully dad , look at that dad.
Oh , and they kick our seats the whole time
Oh, and the one behind me is leaning over my seat , and keeps catching my hair , whilst repeating every word from the movie.

why would you let your kids do that. Why not teach them to be quiet in the cinema
To not kick the backs of seats why not take them to the £1 movies if they aren’t quiet in the cinema , because yes I do mind if I’ve paid £23 to watch a movie and its been spoilt by somebody’s kids

O was furious I’m sure I could actually see steam coming from his ears.
He was seething mad.
And becoming more and more agitated
He started turning around telling them to be quiet
I was sure that he was on the verge of turning around and ninja kicking the pair of them.
I rubbed his legs
I patted him
I hugged him
I tried to calm him
He was fuming , but he managed to stay quiet and not spoil the movie for anyone ( because my kids don’t do that )
He wanted to go home
He kept whispering can we go now
Can we go now
Can we go now

I must point out that the movie was fabulous and awesome and funny
But I was glad when it was over

We walked through the shopping centre and to the bus ride with a very agitated O saying
are you saying I’m fat
Are you saying I’m fat
Are you saying I’m fat
Are you saying I’m fat

On repeat

And we checked the wallet
And my purse
And the wallet
And my purse
And the wallet , just to be sure.

And I joked ” imagine if we hadn’t shut the front door ” which was not my best move

And we came home
And I decided it will probably be a while until we go to the cinema again.


3 responses »

  1. oh dear lord hunni!! I’m lucky I mastered the art of the cinema on a few films that had been out a while. Also it’s not in a busy part of town. I feel for you, I really do xx

  2. I so feel your pain but also chuckled as you could have been describing a cinema trip with me & my boys (19 & 18), even down to the ‘am I fat” comments & door/wallet checking.

    We now go to the earliest possible showing of any film in the vain hope that ‘the normals’ (my boys’ term for Neuro-typicals) can’t be bothered to get up that early. Most times it works out but we still encounter noisy normals who are then subjected to the death stare from me!

    You obviously have developed the Autism mum’s dark sense of humour xxx

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