It’s not all roses


I love my kids.
There’s no doubt about that. I love them unconditionally , I’d die for them in the blink of an eye.
But sometimes I do wish they would just shut up and leave me alone for a minute.
I haven’t raised them to be lazy but they are , bone idle , completely. They’d rather poke their eyes out with hot sticks than do something for me.
They never stop asking for things , especially one of my girls , it’s a constant stream of … I want … I need … Can I have …. Have you got any money …it goes on and on and ON
They don’t stop eating …. Mostly the teenagers … After I’ve tidied the kitchen and washed up for the night.
Even when the cupboards are full they will stand there gormlessly swinging on the cupboard door saying ” muuuum there’s nothing nice” after I’ve been to asda three times already that week. And when I’ve been to asda they are waiting ready to go through the bags , not to help put it away , oh no , just to see what they can get their hands on.
Plan a meal , yeah I’d love to , but you can bet your life that one of the kids will have eaten one of the main components while I slept. They finish ALL the milk , every night , I could buy 20 pints and you could bet your life on it someone would drink it overnight, then be kind enough to put the empty bottle in the fridge so while I’m half asleep fumbling around to make my morning cuppa , I open the fridge , see a bottle in there and for a tiny moment I think there is milk. Cruel , just cruel. I then have a choice , settle for a Horlicks or drag myself to the shop , I can’t send one of the kids because they’d rather tear their toe nails out , one by one with red hot tweezers than go to the shop for me.
They leave all their rubbish on the kitchen table instead of in the bin which is next to the kitchen table. Because you know the bin is just too far.
And as for dirty washing …. Can they put it in their baskets .. No ! Sometimes next to the basket , but never in. Yet it’s always my fault if something hasn’t been washed. They have never knowingly turned off a light or electrical appliance . Why would they , electricity is free , right ?
They never check if there is toilet paper before they sit down on the loo. It’s always ” muuuuuum I need a toilet roll”
We never leave the house at the time we planned because there’s always a shoe / Oyster card/ coat that can’t be found ,and of course it’s always my fault that the missing item is missing because you know I have nothing better to do than hide their stuff in order to make us late.
They put me through every single possible emotion at least once every day , usually before breakfast.
They drive me to tears often , they are ungrateful and unhelpful and sometimes it’s all just relentless. Obviously it’s not all bad , there’s plenty of good ( well, some)
. It’s what a family is. It’s all swings and roundabouts.
But people don’t tell other people about the bits that make you want to tear your actual hair out in huge clumps and bash your actual head against the wall whilst wailing and screaming through the dripping snot for someone to feed the god damn guinea pigs – for the hundredth time that day – or for someone to actually flush the f**king loo for once in their lives.
People will tweet about what a lovely family day they’ve had , how wonderful their kids are , what a perfect family they have. They will post on Facebook what a fab day they’ve had “chillin’ with the fammo” when they go back to school after the weekend they will tell you how much fun they had , but they will leave out the bits where they were locked in the loo trying to have a wee in peace while 3 different kids tried to argue with them through the door. They will leave out the bit where they almost ran over their own kid with a trolley in asda because it wouldn’t stop asking for stuff.
It can be a bit disheartening and bewildering when you see how fab everyone else’s life is going but remember its not all roses for anyone. Some just like to paint their garden rosy
And hide the ” manure ” where no one can see it. It doesn’t mean it’s not there , you just can’t see it.

Also , the bigger the pile of ” manure ” the bigger the mess when it falls 🙂


One response »

  1. I found this when my son was born (I only have one child… thinking about number two scares me so you need a medal with 7!) everyone made it out to be magical but it was hard, my whole life had changed and I felt completely overwhelmed and emotional and felt like I didn’t know what I was doing half the time. Talking to other friends they told me things were wonderful 24/7, was difficult as all I wanted to hear was that I was normal and I didn’t feel that (things like: do they all cry this much? Will he ever sleep properly during the day? we I always be this touchy with my husband?).
    Thanks for your post. Kids are lovely and all, that’s why we have them but it’s nice to know that other people have pain in the ass children as well! x

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