Out of my depth.

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I had a feeling I’d get the phone call.
I was actually holding my phone waiting for it to ring. Not willing it to ring , but knowing it would.
12:30 pm ” hi Mrs T , I know O was supposed to try having lunch today but can you come and collect him please , he’s struggling”
I was at the school in 15 minutes and was told he was in the hall refusing to move.
I hoped the hall was empty , but it was raining so years 3 and 4 were all in the hall waiting for their turn to line up for lunch.
The teacher said he was very upset but no explanation as to why.
He was sitting at the back of the line crying , actually more like sobbing , I thought he’d be pleased to see me so I went and sat on the floor next to him. ” what’s happened ”
” shut up, don’t touch me ”
Lets get out of here and you can tell me what’s wrong ”
“SHUT UP DON’T TOUCH ME ”
” let me help you O let’s get out of here ”
” SHUUUT UUUP !!!!! DONT TOUCH ME”
Year 3 and 4 were all watching along with the staff , and I wasn’t at all sure what to do. The next five minutes were long and uncomfortable , years 3 and 4 stared , O made his noises LOUDLY and I wished the ground would swallow me up.
” why are you crying”
” I want my lunch ”
“I’ve come to get you because you had a bad morning”
” I want my lunch”
” you have to come home I came to get you ”
” I WANT MY LUNCH ”
” is that why you’re crying ? You want your lunch ? ”
“I WANT MY LUNCH , they said I could have lunch and its not 1:45 ”
” they asked me to get you early ”
“But it’s not 1:45″
” let’s talk about this somewhere”
“IT’S NOT 1:45 , IM NOT LEAVING TILL 1:45, I WANT MY LUNCH ”
I spoke to the deputy head she said O could try to have his lunch if I stayed in the school.
I told O what I had sorted out but he was adamant he still wasn’t leaving till it was 1:45 .
I left him in the dining hall with the teaching assistant , sat by the office and pretended I was busy using my phone for 5 minutes, I heard shouting , looked up and there was O being brought to me ” he’s not calming down , he can’t have lunch ”
What followed what 20 excruciating minutes of me chasing O from room to room , grabbing chairs as he sent them toppling over , holding his arms so he couldn’t punch the window , trying to lead him to the way out.
While the staff looked on.
I understand them letting me deal with him , but the look on their faces made me feel like I had just won the award for worst mum EVER.
I wanted out of there NOW
I eventually wrestled him ( actually wrestled) to the door and dragged him out whilst he screamed that ” the school is stupid and fat , and all the teachers should be fired ”

It took us twenty minutes to walk home
O alternated between shouting at the top of his voice that he’d wanted his lunch , and wailing all the way.

We had been in for 5 minutes when he was asking for a pack of crisps and sitting to watch tv like nothing had happened.
He’s had many tantrums at home but so far I’ve mostly managed to calm him down , I have had to hold him and restrain him mostly for his own safety but I’ve never had to do it in front of people , staring at me , wondering why I can’t control my child. It’s horrible.

I had absolutely no idea what to do. I was completely and utterly out of my depth and everyone could see that , and frankly I have no idea what to do when that happens again. That scares me.

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2 responses »

  1. Holy crap Mrs T! My heart is thumping just reading that. I’m sure no one thought your were a bad mum. Just a mum struggling with a child who is desperate need of help.
    I am so angry that this is happening to you and O.

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