Monthly Archives: March 2013

Happy half term !

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This term has been difficult and it’s felt especially long and draining.
But today it’s over !
The kids break up for Easter. And I am very much looking forward to the half term.
We are a little skint and the weather is a bit rubbish but that doesn’t matter.
The thing I’m looking forward to the most is not setting the alarm for 5:30 a.m.
Waking up when we are good and ready and being able to enjoy laying in bed for a bit every morning.
I’m looking forward to not worrying about getting the boy to college and not having college phoning every day. Also not worrying about how the 8 y/o is coping at school every day.
Im actually looking forward to having the kids around the house. I like having the kids around , we don’t get enough time to just BE together just being us and having time.
I’ve made sure I’ve got enough money for a game of bowling , going swimming and a trip to the cinema to watch the croods. I’m really looking forward to seeing this movie with the kids ,
Because the weather is a bit rubbish I’ve got rise of the guardians , hotel Transylvania and breaking dawn pt 2 on DVD. For some snuggly afternoons probably with some Pringles and dip.
I’m looking forward to playing more chess and draughts with the kids with our new set. As well as good old frustration.
My friend is going to be in town , all the way from Yorkshire , with her two boys , we will get together with the kids. I’m hoping we have a sunny day or two so we can get out to one of our local parks. And of course while she’s in town there will be a girls night out with pizza and wine ( whine )
During the holidays my son will be turning 16 so of course there will be cake 😄🍰
As my mum lives by the river I’m hoping to have a couple of nice walks by the Thames ( in the sun ? ) before a nice cup of tea and some warm crusty rolls.
And of course I will get some reading time in , I’m looking for a really good book to enjoy over the half term.
I think it’s going to be a good half term and hopefully we will all be feeling de-stressed and recharged ready for the next term.
What plans do you have for the Easter half term ?

Where is the love ?

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What’s wrong with the world mamma , people living like they ain’t got no mamma …..

Life … We are all living it , you live , you die and hopefully in between you do something to mark your mark on the world . It’s not easy , life , it throws things at you when you don’t expect it , it gives , it takes away , you never know what’s coming. And life doesn’t come with instructions ! We have to make it up as we go along. Hopefully getting it right , often getting it wrong.
But if we are all just trying to live our lives , and we are all when it comes down to it just people , all just the same , why don’t we help each-other more. Pull in the same direction , help each-other out.
Why is life such an us against them thing.
The haves look down on the have- nots. When many of the have- nots are in that position because of what life has thrown at them.
Discrimination is still all around. Mental illness is still a big taboo. With little understanding or compassion.
And even in the small things in life people just aren’t nice to each-other.
On twitter it seems some people have accounts for the sole purpose of being nasty and judgemental
Why ? Twitter can be a lovely thing. You can find people who become friends. People you can talk to. People that support you.
When certain TV shows are on I don’t look at the hash tags anymore because mostly people are really nasty. It’s fine to disagree with what you watch , and to debate it. But some people make nasty comments which actually attack the people who appear in these shows. Real people. Being attacked by people that don’t know them.
School playgrounds are full of ” groups” of mums that look down on other groups , whisper , judge , gossip.
Neighbourhoods just aren’t the same anymore. People don’t know their neighbours. They don’t look out for their neighbours , I see this has changed even since I was young. People looked out for other people’s kids. People helped each-other out with their kids. There’s that old saying , something like ” it takes a village to raise a child”. It just doesn’t happen !
Kindness and compassion are free to give , yet a small kindness can turn someone’s day or even life around
Manners are free , but they seem to be a long forgotten thing.
The feeling of having helped someone can be a lovely thing.
We can only change this by doing it ourselves. One kindness at a time. A smile , a helping hand , a bit of understanding.

When was the last time you did something kind ?? Just because you wanted to ?

Spread the love people. It doesn’t have to cost a thing. And it just makes life a bit nicer.

Can you smell that ? My super power is smell !

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Since my kids were babies ive always noticed that they have a smell when they are coming down with something ,especially if they have a tummy bug / sickness. I can smell it before they are actually sick. It’s a kind of warm sickly sweet smell. All of mine have the same smell.
Whenever I’ve asked people they’ve looked at me like I was a bit odd.
This morning I asked on twitter and it turns out its not just me.
I had a few replies from people saying that they can also smell it.
I googled it ( not sure why is never googled it before ) anyway I googled it and it turns out its an actual thing !
Mums can often smell when their children are coming down with something.
And it’s not just mums.
In the past doctors used to use their sense of smell to diagnose ailments.
It’s actually quite interesting to read about.
It’s not a very cool superpower but I think being able to smell when your child is coming down with something is quite handy
If nothing else it gives you a heads up on getting the sick bowl and the calpol ready.
From my tweets and responses this morning I learned something else. Some people can HEAR spiders. Before they see them.
Now this is a superpower I would like to have. So I could evacuate the room and scream for help before I have to see the 8 legged monster.
Can you smell when your child or anyone else is ill ?
Can you hear spiders ?
Can you sense anything else before it happens ?
What small superpower would you like to have.

CAMHS … Making myself heard.

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As I’ve mentioned (alot, sorry ) I’m waiting for a CAMHS appointment for my 8 year old who desperately needs help. This appointment is taking ages even though the school have twice asked for it to be an emergency appointment.
The head honcho is a hard man to get hold of , mostly because CAMHS are so underfunded that there just aren’t enough staff.
I’m not prepared to wait a long time for my boy to get help. It took 5 years for me to get a diagnosis for my 17 y/o and he has had so little help that right now we are almost back at square one with him after 7 years !
Today I have an appointment with the head honcho at CAHMS about my older son so my mum is coming with me as back up and we are going to let him know exactly how let down my older son is and insist on more support and while we are there we are going to tell him exactly how much the 8 year old needs an appointment and proper help. Now , not somewhere down the line.
I’m not good at being forceful that’s why I’ve enlisted my mum.
Hopefully I will come out of the meeting today feeling positive that help is on the way. I probably won’t ….. But I can dream.

Book review : Dance of shadows

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As I’ve said before ( you will know if you’ve been paying attention ) I love to read. It’s my favourite thing to do in my spare time.
I also like to write , blog posts not books. So I thought I should make use of my blog and let you know when I’ve read a good book , or indeed a bad book.

Dance of shadows by Yelena Black.

On Thursday I bought and started
reading DANCE of SHADOWS , I enjoyed it so much that I couldn’t put it down till I finished it on Friday afternoon

It’s a young adult book , the story involves dark magic and demons but I found it a refreshing change from the usual young adult paranormal books. The book is set in a ballet academy , Vanessa is a talented ballerina but she isn’t attending the academy because she wants to dance!
She wants to discover what happened to her older sister Margaret who disappeared from the academy 3 years ago! Who are Justin , and Zeppelin Gray and do they want to help her or hurt her ?What sinister forces are at work in the academy ?
I wasn’t sure that I would enjoy this book because I have no knowledge of or interest in ballet , however as I said it was actually a refreshing change. The storyline kept me turning the pages and by the end of the book I already couldn’t wait for the sequel. Which I’m hoping won’t keep me waiting for too long.
This book is definitely very enjoyable and well worth a read !

Bash me acorns ….

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That’s a weird thing to say !

My 8 y/o says it ALOT randomly out of the blue , along with many other weird and wonderful things ….bash me ankles
Bash me head
Whatyoudo
Oh
Oh no
Ahoy
Hey hey
Hummer hummer , as well as some grunting sounds these are the most common things he says , often on a loop , randomly.
It’s no secret that I think children’s mental health services are shockingly inadequate. Adult services are probably the same but I haven’t had to deal with them yet so I don’t know enough to comment.
My 8 y/o has been on the waiting list for CAMHS for weeks and as I know CAMHS well I expect it will be a few weeks yet.
As well as everything else that’s going on O has developed vocal tics.
Although my 17 y/o has Tourette’s I don’t know enough about it to say O has Tourette’s ( his brother has mostly motor tics so I have no experience of vocal tics ) but he does definitely have vocal tics.
These tics occur mostly at times when O is anxious. Going out , on a bus , at school , on the way to school. Is it Tourette’s ?is it just vocal tics ? whats the difference ? I won’t know till we eventually see CAMHS but as its got to the point where he does it so much at school that the other pupils in his class have all picked up on the words and sounds and repeat them , sometimes subconsciously , quiet often I wanted to try and help him to maybe get some control over the tics while we wait for professional help.
I asked my doctor where I should look for info on helping a child to control vocal tics. He didn’t know. He looked online a bit. He still didn’t know.
I thought I’d pop into water stones yesterday and pick up a book. You can buy books about EVERYTHING can’t you?
Well not this.
Why is this ?Why is it so hard to find info about these things. The wait for help is so ridiculously long and you can’t even try to self help while you wait.

I’m sure I would probably find something if I google vocal tics but actually I wanted to know that I was reading reliable info from a reliable source. So I would have preferred a book.
I don’t know the figures but I know Tourette’s is not a rare illness that we don’t really need to know about. It’s real , it happens , and people don’t know enough about it and don’t understand it.
When you ask your GP for a source of help they should be able to point you in the right direction , there should be books , for children and for helping children. And actually most of all you shouldn’t have to wait so bloody long for appointments in the first place.
Mental health matters !!!

Meal planning

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I’m not enjoying not having a working oven , sure I can cook most things in the grill but when it’s in the grill you need to keep an eye on it , turn it over ,it burns when you forget about it for a minute ( that happens alot ) and I’m missing pizza , garlic bread , pasties .

This is what we will be eating this week

Wednesday
Toasted muffins with beans and cheese ( this one the kids are looking forward to )

Thursday
Mashed potato ( a big favourite of mine ) with fish less fingers or turkey dinosaurs for the non veggies ( a turkey dinosaur doesn’t hurt once on awhile ) served with mange tout , beans and sweet corn

Friday
Bangers mash peas and aaaah! Bisto

Saturday
Farfelle pasta with a tomato and herb sauce served with crusty farmhouse bread.

Obviously while I was ordering the shopping I forgot the oven isn’t working so I also ordered some lovely pasties for lunch , they will have to sit in the freezer for a while. * sobs*

What are you having for dinner this week ?

Mum … Where’s my homework ?

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I like to be organised. In fact I NEED to be organised. I need things to be where they belong , and I like to get things ready to avoid a morning panic , I spend my evening telling the kids to do their homework , organise their school bags , put stuff in its place so it doesn’t get lost , get their stuff ready for the next day , put their shoes etc where they belong so they can find them easily …
Obviously this has all rubbed off on the kids and the mornings are a smooth operation ….
Of course not , the alarm goes off at 5:30 I hobble down the stairs , because of my arthritis I’m especially stiff in the morning so going up and down our 3 floors of stairs is difficult , and I’m met by ” mum where’s my uniform , can you get it for me , I’m cold / tired / still in bed ” ” mum where’s my pe kit ” “mum where are the trousers I need ” ( the ones that were put in the bottom of the washing basket and covered by clean clothes that the kids couldn’t be arsed to put away )
” mum I need ingredients / glitter / glue / money ” ( what they forget is that this is the first I’ve heard of it )
” mum where did you put my worksheet ? ” ( because obviously it was ME that lost it rather than put it somewhere safe )
When they are finally dressed , because thehairbrush is under the sofa/ someone’s bed they happily walk out the door without brushing their hair … That is if they’ve found their shoes / bag / blazer .
And of course while walking out the door they will call ” mum I’m going to have detention because I didn’t do my homework ”

I can’t wait till the alarm goes off at 5:30 tomorrow so we can do it all again.

Why dude ? … Why ?

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This is a small post about a small dude , but it has a BIG WHY !

Now for quite a long while the 8 year old has been unable to go to bed without me going with him.
If I don’t comply to the demands there follows hours of screaming ,crying and tantrum throwing.
It’s a bit rubbish because I don’t get to watch most of my favourite tv shows which are usually on at 9 ,
I don’t get to sit and unwind before bed and actually I don’t want to go to bed at the same time as my 8 year old.
However , if you read my last post ( and if you didn’t , why not? ) you will know that I stay at my mums once a month and 8 year old comes too.
What happens at bedtime ??
Well, when the little man starts looking a bit tired , he does stay up a bit longer as granny’s house is a treat , all I have to say is ” come on little dude , lets get you in bed ” and off he goes. As if by magic he gets into bed , I tuck him in and moments later he’s asleep.
Now , my mum lives in a flat so we are on one level at bedtime but at home when he goes to bed his two big brothers are almost always up there so he’s not alone.
We will be home at bedtime after a weekend at mums and I’m quite sure that at bedtime he will be screaming for me and I will be screaming “WHY DUDE ? Why ? ”

Or maybe , just maybe we will be able to carry on the behaviour from granny’s house.