Goodbye from mumblingsontheverge


First of all I would like to say thankyou to everybody that has taken the time to read, share and comment on my blog , its all been appreciated , as have the huge amounts of support I’ve recieved through this blog but it feels like its time to bring this blog to a natural end .
I started this blog around the same time as life got very difficult, mostly with Ollies schooling, and its fair to say that my posts have been largely glum.
I feel like now that Im getting fantastic support from parent partnership and things seem to be moving forward in a positive way I want to leave that time behind me . Of course that will never really be entirely possible, but I want to move on and start embracing positivity more .

Also i feel I kind of lost my way here on this blog, I didn’t know what I wanted it to be anymore, I tried stuff and often it just wasn’t right.

Another thing was that I signed this blog up to one of those ranking things, I got a little hung up on my rankings, they went up and down, I felt a bit like my blog wasn’t good enough but the whole point of my blog was always that it was just me, writing stuff, and hoping somebody may connect or relate, I don’t want to be ranked, the most important thing about my blog is that its true to me, who I am and that I’m happy with it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love this blog and I’m proud of it, its just time to put it away and keep it as a memory.

you cant get rid of me that easily though
Im starting a shiny brand new fresh blog, I want it to be a much more positive place, of course autism will forever be a part of it but In a more positive way *i cant guarantee a 100% happyfest though.

Its just time to close the old book and open a brand new one with clean pages…..see what I fill them with.

Thankyou again for reading and sticking with me, its been real *taps heart*

You can find my new blog at I hope you will pop over and take a look.

All thats left to say on mumblingsontheverge is goodbye, Au Revoir, bon voyage xxx

Autism a punishment?


Yesterday I read that Toni Braxton has said she fears that her sons autism is a payback from God because she once had an abortion.So Autism is a punishment?

I’m offended! In fact I find this offensive on many levels .

How can anybody say this publicly when its possible her son will one day read this, perhaps he already knows how she feels. That his autism is a punishment.

Is an autistic child a punishment? My two Autistic sons certainly aren’t. They are no less of a gift than my neurotypical children. All children are a gift whether they have Autism or not. I’m sure that many parents of Autistic children have felt guilt at some point, did they do something to harm their baby during pregnancy or during childhood, its only natural to have such worries but I know I’ve never looked at my children and wondered if I’ve been punished for a choice I made in the past. Should every parent of a child with special needs or an illness feel guilty, should they all feel they are being punished by God?

Should  a woman having an abortion fear that one day she may be punished with an autistic child? Should a woman who has had an abortion and gone on to have an autistic child feel guilty that its her fault? I imagine that for most women abortion carries enough guilt without this.

I am not religious and accept that people have different beliefs but to say something like this publicly is unacceptable in my opinion.

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Not going out.


If you follow me on twitter you will know that bedtime is when Ollie gets curious and has a thousand questions every night.

Tonight Ive got him in my bed because at first he told me he was sad and lonely and I was mean for not letting him into mine , then he told me he felt like he was on a lonely island in his bed. Obviously I gave in, that’s not a nice thing to hear. But then instead of his usual questions he wanted to talk about why I keep trying to make him come out of the house.

I had told him I’d like to get out at least
twice this coming week, he cant see why because he went out twice last week.

I realise I’ve told Ollie far too many times that I will never make him do anything that is too hard for him , he uses this against me now.

Its so hard to make him understand.

contrary to what he believes I do understand and care that he really doesn’t like going out. But I also understand that he needs to get himself out there a bit.

My 18 yo with autism (among other things) has barely left the house for 4 years and even then only with massive amounts of support. He wants to go out , he just cant .

He was only diagnosed a few months ago ,I was mostly told he was behaving badly for 9 years so I didn’t know how to help him,encourage him , get him out ,I feel like I failed him ,So now I work hard to get him out. We aren’t really there yet but once in a while we manage.

I cant let Ollie be the same.As I always tell him I don’t want his autism to stop him doing things he WANTS to do , and what if later on in his life he wants to go out and see things, do things ?

I want him to know that even though he will probably always find these things hard he is at least equipped with the tools to manage if he chooses too.

Also I need to know that he can cope with , for example going to the corner shop, just in case he needs something one day and I’m not there.

I know he sees the world differently to me and being indoors is his happy place.  But life happens outside , in the sunshine , the rain, the snow, on walks through the common and strolls through the cemetery, it happens having lunch in Asda and buying football stickers and life happens in so many other amazing ways and places.

I want him to know that he is equipped to go out and see life , as much or as little as he wants to if and when he wants to.

I don’t believe I’d be a very good mother if I didn’t encourage him to leave the house but in his eyes in mean for asking him to.

We’ve had tears and shouting tonight and he fell asleep still cross with me.
Its not an easy thing to make a ten year old understand , I just want his life to be everything he ever wants it to be WordPress for Phone