So you grew up …..

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It’s the Eve of your 9th birthday , you went and grew up , right before my eyes.
It’s gone so fast Ollie !

You started school , well nursery first and gosh you turned out to be so clever. You learn so quickly , and your memory ! You’ve never forgotten a thing in your life. You’re like a sponge just remembering everything you see , hear and learn.
You never found school easy.
You were always on the edge , not really mixing.
You chose your special friends and you stuck with them.
But even so the kids and the teachers all liked you.
That’s no surprise , you’re a lovely kind boy.
You had the same teacher through key stage one , she knew you and you knew her , and so we really didn’t know there was anything wrong. Until you moved up to the juniors.
You found it hard. The change , moving into the big part of the school , new teachers. It all went a bit wrong.
You became so quiet. You just didn’t like school anymore , didn’t want to go. I had to leave you in the playground everyday crying. And then your tics started.
We thought it was a bit funny at first when you started saying bash me ankles , or bash me head all the time , randomly , then you said them more and more. You started shouting out words and noises.
You couldn’t help it. But school didn’t understand. People didn’t understand. Not for a long time.
School was so hard for you Ollie , you were sad and angry and you were getting in trouble. You cried every morning before we even left for school.
My heart broke for you every day Ollie .
I knew there was something ” wrong” (I dont like that word because it’s not really wrong , just different )
I fought for you , every day , I really did. I hope you know that. I tried to make everyone see , to understand.
You were still Ollie , still the same lovely boy you always were you just needed some help.
Even when you were so angry with the world and you just wanted to be left alone I knew , and I was never cross with you. I just loved you more.
When you snuggled up in my bed every night with me and blanky and you cried because it was all so hard I loved you more.
It took a long time , but we got you diagnosed. I had to fight so hard to get that for you.
They told us you had autism , and tourrettes.
But you’re still you !
You are a funny , quirky , stubborn , loving boy.
You’re hard work sometimes dude.
But that’s ok. That’s what I’m here for.
I’m here to help you find your way in the world and to make sure you can always be who you are.
School didn’t get any easier. You were so unhappy.
So just a month ago I took you out of school.
I couldn’t let you be unhappy.
You’re already so much happier. You’re so much more relaxed , you’re
Playing again , and laughing and being a cheeky monkey , you’re you !
You don’t cry every day , you don’t need to be on your own for hours every day.
I’m so glad that you and me decided that home was the best place for you to be.
On your last day of school I was so proud of you , the kids in your class , your friends , your teachers , they all cried because you were leaving because they all cared so much for you.
That’s because you’re wonderful. Don’t ever forget that !

We’ve been having a bit of down time , together at home. You’ve been sitting around in your pants , we’ve been getting up late , especially since we got our new big comfy duvet. We’ve got some work to do, you’re getting too big to be in my bed with me , and you keep stealing my corner of the duvet. and it’s not easy when you think there’s always a hair on your food so you sometimes won’t eat , and we need to work on getting you out more , there’s a whole world out there and I want to help to make it all a bit less scary for you.
But we will get there , we have time.
For now we’ve been relaxing , together and it’s been lovely.
I’ve loved this time with you.

I’m proud of you Ollie.
The world is not always an easy place for you , but you are growing up ( too fast) to be a brilliant young man.
I’m so looking forward to watching you grow up even more and helping you to learn and learning with you.
You’re looking forward to your birthday so much , you’re so excited about your present, you have cried yourself to sleep for 3 nights because the excitement has been all a bit too much , I hope you love it.

You’re going to be 9 !
I was very lucky 9 years ago that I got to be your mummy.
Dont ever stop being you Ollie , because I love you so very much just the way you are.

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